Sacrifices
by Ayehli
Summary: What would Jack do to protect what he loves? Darkness is only too eager to find out. Jack/Darkness. Had to be done.
1. Chapter 1

Jack had never felt much.

It was in his nature to feel all things lightly. He had never known real fear, or real sorrow, or even real love, though he found pleasure in Lily's games and in the way her eyes sparkled when she looked at him. Creatures of the forest could not afford to feel deeply. Their rhythms were the rhythms of the seasons, where life and death and pleasure and pain all moved in a balance, and to dwell on any emotion was to throw off that balance.

But the battle had changed him.

In seeing the unicorn dead because of his folly, he had known shame, and a great sadness that threatened to break him. In seeing Lily clad in black and at the mercy of another he had known rage. And in facing Darkness he had known real fear, and then the thrill of triumph and absolution in the knowledge that he had brought something truly momentous to pass. He was no longer small, no longer subject to the whim of the seasons. He could move worlds.

Everything deepened, became more immediate. He held Lily tightly to him at night as though fearful that she might be spirited away, feeling a longing and a fierce possessiveness that was nothing like the gentle happiness he had known in their time in the forest. Now he had come to know love, and to know that love must always be coupled with pain, if only at the thought that all this could vanish from him in a moment.

He knew that she had changed as well. Where once she had laughed and teased she now kissed him fiercely. That first night it had been as though they were both desperate not to let go, as if only the complete closeness of their bodies could protect them against everything they had seen. She had frightened him with her fierceness, but he soon discovered that he possessed the same fierceness, that he wanted to consume her every bit as much as she wanted to be consumed. The fire had cooled only slightly in the weeks that followed.

He preferred not to dwell on what might have changed her. He had seen her in those robes, watched the way she so effortlessly beguiled and bewitched Darkness, but he told himself that it was brief, that he had saved her before the demon had had a chance to truly change her. She did not speak of it, and he did not ask. But when she raked his back with savage claws, when she sometimes seemed to growl at him as they wrestled, the seed of doubt blossomed in his mind.

And when the seed bloomed, something soft and cold crept into his dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

Where once he had found peace in sleep, a respite from the doubts that had begun to plague him, now even Jack's dreams were invaded. At first he had only the sense of being watched, a sense that would often wake him in the middle of the night with a pounding heart, sure as his eyes darted across the room that there must be someone or something nearby. Lily slept peacefully through it all. When he asked her about her dreams she only smiled and told him that her dreams were as simple as her daily life, that the brief darkness that had invaded her sleep in the days immediately following the battle was gone. He smiled and pretended that his sleep was undisturbed as well, not wishing to trouble her.

Finally a night came when his dreams were familiar and unhaunted. He was in the forest, surrounded by trees dappled with sunlight and a gentle cascade of blossoms and leaves. Nearby he could hear the sound of water, birds, and insects. Animals danced near him, unafraid. He breathed in the smells and the sounds and felt finally at peace.

And there was Lily, as she had been when he first knew her, her skin wrapped in finery, running toward him on legs that seemed light as air. He reached out his arms toward her…

…and something shifted in the air. The animals went silent, and the sun seemed to fade behind a cloud. Lily sensed it, and her face creased with worry. Jack saw strange shapes moving behind her and shouted at her to run, but no sound came from his mouth.

And then they were upon her, goblins, tying her with ropes and nets and dragging her away while she screamed, and when Jack tried to run after her vines reached up from the forest floor and held his legs, and the goblins laughed at his helplessness as Lily screamed and cried, and Jack felt a new kind of anguish as they clawed and bit at her flesh, her blood spilling on the forest floor…

Then the dream was gone, and he was in darkness, the dark of a cold, black hall with pillars that seemed to rise into the sky. His breathing was ragged and tears streaked his face.

The feeling of being watched returned. He felt the cold softness on his skin, and felt it creep slowly into his mind. The voice that whispered inside him filled him with familiar dread.

_ …the boy has become a man…_

Jack felt rage replace dread and gritted his teeth. "What have you done with Lily?"

_…nothing at all. only showed you all that could be lost. you have so much to lose now, Jack o' the Green. your need, your anger, your pain…how they have changed you…_

"You only torment me. You cannot touch her, or me, in the waking world, and I will not fear you."

Laughter tickled Jack's mind. _…can't I?..._

The voice and the cold softness left his mind and seemed to coalesce in a mist on the floor. Jack's heart raced as the mist took shape, backing away as it towered over him, the creature that he had feared and fought. Darkness smiled as a throne took shape beneath him, reclining languidly, his face showing only amusement.

"We vanquished you." Jack forced his voice not to falter. "You can do no more harm."

"Ah, but there are so many kinds of harm, dear Jack…and I have lived a thousand thousand years, and those who think to conquer me must always suffer…"

The floor shimmered, and Lily's naked form lay before them, sleeping. Darkness smiled.

Jack turned away. "This is illusion. You may show me what you will in this dream, it will not break me."

The image would not leave. It invaded his mind—Darkness kneeling over Lily's sleeping form, a hand reaching up to stroke her cheek. Jack felt the rage rising in him and struggled to control it.

"Can you be so sure it is only a dream, dear Jack? Would you risk that?"

Lily stirred as the hand moved over her face and down her neck. Darkness's eyes drank her in. "I feel the need in you, Jack…an elixir…what would you do, I wonder, to save this creature?"

The words came unbidden as rage and pain overtook him. "Anything."

Darkness's eyes bored into Jack's as his hand closed around Lily's neck. "Anything?"

Then there was screaming, but the figure on the floor was still, and the image of Darkness and Lily blurred in front of him, and he felt the weight of his body in his bed, and it was the real Lily who screamed again and again next to him until he shook her awake, holding her tightly against him.

"Jack…Jack…my Gods, Jack, I was choking, I couldn't breathe…"

Jack's blood chilled. "Only a dream, beloved, only a dream…"

"My throat burns…oh Jack, hold me, please…"

He rocked her gently in his arms and felt fierceness rising in him, coupled with a sense of grim resolve. "Only a dream. Only a dream. There will be no more, I promise you."

_There will be no more. No more. _

_ What would you do, Jack? What would you do to save her? _

_Anything. Anything. _


	3. Chapter 3

Fear and resolve gave Jack strength. In his waking hours he knew that Lily suspected nothing. She had no more dreams, though Jack often found himself wide awake in the middle of the night, keeping close watch over her sleeping form, his body tensed and ready to wake her at any sign of distress. But she slept peacefully, and if she dreamt there was nothing in her dreams to cause her pain.

He could not stop himself looking at her for other reasons, though he hated himself for it. Was there a different assurance in her step now, a calculated allure to the looks she tossed him? When she pressed herself against him at night and whispered in his ear was she imagining another place, another time? He could find no truly significant changes in her, but every tiny detail seemed to add up to something larger.

Of course she would have changed, he told himself. She had left behind her other life, rejected the luxuries that she had been accustomed to since birth, all for him, diving into a new world as he had once dived off a cliff for a mere ring. She said she missed nothing, that there had been no sacrifice in what she gave up, but of course it must have changed her, to abandon so much so completely. And yet his own reassurances could not assuage his doubts about the deeper changes within her, the ones that might have come from her time in the Great Tree.

Perhaps this was the punishment at which Darkness had hinted—to be driven mad by his own doubts. To let those doubts slowly and painfully chip away at everything they were, a death much more painful than losing her all at once.

Punishment was never so simple, of course.

One day he returned to the cottage to find Lily radiant, smiling and throwing her arms around him in an even more joyful version of her usual self. He asked her why she was so happy and she repeated his question, singing to herself and sauntering around the room. He smiled and carefully hid the suspicion that took root in his mind, not liking this feeling of being kept in the dark, even playfully.

Finally she gave in and cupped his face in her hands, giving him a long, slow kiss. "Can you really not know, my Jack?"

He shook his head. "I know nothing, dearest."

She raised herself up on her toes and pressed her lips against his ear. "I am with child, my love."

All the doubts seemed to melt away in that moment, and Jack swept her up in his arms and spun her around the room while they both laughed raucously, a moment darkened only by Jack's realization that even this moment, one which should have been pure joy, was darkened by doubt.

And in that time of peace, just when sleep seemed to be coming naturally again, just when he could curl contentedly in Lily's arms and press his cheek against her belly in a place free of doubt, Jack woke within his dream to find himself standing again in that dark hall with its stone pillars and twisted throne. The soft, cold voice echoed in his mind.

…_and now you have even more to lose…_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks to all who have reviewed—this story is becoming a bit longer and more complicated than I intended it to be, which is always fun…it's also, I suppose, a bit of a companion piece to The Gate, though I wrote that one when I was getting my feet and haven't looked at it in a while…in the end I think I just enjoy exploring different versions / interpretations of established characters and seeing where they take the story. Even if they sometimes take it right off a cliff. _

Darkness stood before him, red skin glistening in the faint light, clad in the black finery that Jack remembered. He stood rooted to the floor as Darkness circled him, cat-like and curious.

"You doubt her."

Jack swallowed as Darkness lingered behind him. "My doubts are foolish."

"Are they? She was here with me for more than enough time…time to change, time to be swayed…"

"She has not changed."

"Does she make you bleed at night? Does she hunger for you like she never did before?" Darkness's lips were near Jack's ear. "When you enter her do her eyes seem far away?"

Jack clenched his fists in silence. He felt fingers and talons close painfully around his neck.

"If you want to save her you will answer me, boy. Does she seem different to you?"

Jack swallowed hard. When he spoke his voice was barely a whisper. "Yes."

"But you take pleasure in her change, do you not?" Darkness laughed softly. "You do not protest when she comes at you with heat, when she is rough where you would have her gentle…I would think you would be grateful for what I tau—"

Jack whirled around with a strength he had not known he possessed and threw himself at Darkness. The battle ended before it began, of course—with a sword he might have had a chance, but there was no fighting a creature twice his size, even in a dream. His arms were quickly pinned to his sides, his body lifted slightly off the floor as Darkness pressed his face closer.

"Is this what you see, boy, when you doubt?"

An image flickered before him of Lily in a black dress seated at a long table while Darkness circled her. He watched as she rose slowly, confidently, bridging the space between them and running a hand down Darkness's cheek.

He shut his eyes but of course the image did not fade. He felt the rage and the disgust and the pain building as he watched Darkness kiss her fiercely, her body arching into his, not unwillingly.

_Stop…not this, please… _

…_but this is what you will give me, boy… _Darkness pulled Jack's body near enough to feel the heat that emanated from his red skin. _I will see you debased, abject, a slave to your rage and your doubts…I will see you worship that which you despise…and for that, I will spare your wife and child…_

Jack heard himself moan, the pain driving a knife into his soul as he watched the image of Lily forcefully removing Darkness's clothes as his hands raked her body…but the pain was layered with desire, the disgust with arousal, and they all rolled off of him in waves.

He felt Darkness's own desire, his lips moving ever closer. _…yes…let it control you…let me taste it…_

He felt the mouth close over his, lips and tongue burning him, and the shock of it broke down the last barrier of control. His emotions surged and Darkness drank them in like an animal sucking marrow from a bone.


	5. Chapter 5

Jack felt himself tossed in a maelstrom—the image of Lily and Darkness that would not fade, layered over the real Darkness, whose mouth hungrily devoured his own…the taste of death mingled with sweetness, Jack's body simultaneously recoiling in horror and resistance but pushing back against itself, drinking hungrily in the same moment that it wretched in disgust…

…_you knew…this was the skin she first touched, this was the taste she longed for, even in your arms…_

Jack growled wordless resistance as teeth scraped against his neck, taloned hands raking his back as Lily's hands once had…and as the vision-Lily's hands moved over the body before her, hands and lips and tongue exploring…

…_I am with her in the night, with you…when her spirit leaves you it is my realm she visits…_

Jack moaned, every night with Lily now colored with knowledge he did not want, as though there had always been a stranger in his bed, hovering and unseen…the jealousy and the rage were smoldering embers inside him…

He tensed as he felt Darkness's hand moving lower, flushed as he realized that he was hard, his every sense on edge. The creature laughed softly and gripped him.

_Yes…to embrace what you despise…it seems this is your ultimate desire…_

Darkness's hand explored and caressed expertly while his other arm pressed Jack's face against naked flesh, and Jack felt his own body moving in rhythm even as hot shame flooded him, felt his own hands moving rapidly over Darkness's body, his mouth hungry for the tainted taste of his skin…

…_worship what you despise…_

Jack licked and suckled and felt his heart threaten to burst his chest. Everything he had ever felt exploded forth from him as he spent himself in a great gout of ecstasy that left him crumpled on the floor while Darkness stood over him, smiling.

The image of Lily mercifully faded. Jack wanted to recoil from his own soiled body, the cacophony of emotions now slowly being replaced only with grim disgust. He forced himself to look up, to meet Darkness's eyes.

"Is this enough?"

Darkness knelt and ran a finger over the sweat-soaked line of Jack's body. "When the nectar is so sweet, there is never enough. But you have given adequately…for now."

"For now?"

Darkness laughed, and the outline of the hall began to blur. "For now."

He felt the dream fading, Darkness's form and the pillars around him flickering into nothingness.

"She has not changed." Darkness's voice was matter-of-fact. "The fire in her was always there, it is in all of us. Your eyes saw only what they wanted to see."

Jack stared at him numbly. "How do I know you speak the truth?"

Darkness smiled. "You do not."


	6. Chapter 6

…_aaaand I was going to end it with the previous chapter, but the fingers kept typing and the brain kept working, so if you prefer your stories a little more on the grim and unresolved side, consider things finished. If you're interested in a bit more, though, I offer a few chapters of coda. _

When Lily awoke to find Jack gone from their bed she felt no real sense of alarm—he sometimes enjoyed waking with the sunrise, and would often return with a basket full of fresh plants and berries that tasted sweeter to her than any of the fine foods she had once eaten. When she rose and wandered through the doorway on bare feet, though, she was surprised to see him sitting beneath a tree just outside their home, his knees drawn in to his chest.

She cried out when he lifted his face to hers. His eyes had a wild, frightened look, and his face was drawn and gaunt, almost as if it had been drained of blood. He forced a smile and rose quickly, but it was too late.

She made him rest and went to the fairies for remedies, and their teas and burning leaves brought some of the color back into his face. Over the days and weeks as her belly grew larger he seemed to return to his old self, but his eyes were haunted, and though he claimed ignorance Lily knew that he hid something from her, and she felt a new kind of pain in knowing that he could keep secrets.

The fairies were there to help her with the birth, and though the hours dragged by and she felt her strength ebbing the pain was not as sharp as it might have been, and when the boy came forth onto a soft bed of cottonwood and was placed into her arms she wept, and Jack wept.

But Jack's weeping did not stop. He shook with great sobs and clutched her and the baby as though he might lose them at any moment, and her words could not calm him, and after a time even the fairies sensed that this was some strange human custom that they could not fathom, and drifted away into the woods to leave the two mortals alone.

"My Jack, you must tell me…tell me what has haunted you all these months, what you weep for…let there be no more secrets between us…"

He could only shake his head, and within his sobs he seemed to say "anything…anything" again and again.

She was patient. She nursed their son and caressed Jack warmly, and at long last the words came faltering from his lips, each one seeming an agony. His hands shook and he could not meet her eyes.

Lily's eyes never left him. When he was finally silent she stared at him for a long time, and he waited, tensed like an animal ready to flee.

She reached out to touch his cheek and he trembled beneath her. She kissed his neck, his lips, his ear, and whispered to him, "My love, what you have sacrificed…you are braver than I ever dreamed…"

And he kissed her back and wept again, but tears of release and relief, and he kissed their child and held them both, and she knew that the pain within his soul was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Inside, her anger was an icy dagger.

She would never let Jack see it. For him she felt only love and gratitude…but to any who would presume to toy with him…with his love for her, and their child…she felt a kind of rage she had never known.

She wondered at the change in herself. Had there been a time, truly, when she might have feared Darkness? Or succumbed to the temptations he offered? If so, it was only a memory. Where ambiguity and desire laced with fear had existed now there was only cold resolve.

Darkness had not come for him again, Jack swore, but they both knew that he could, at any time. Perhaps the next day, perhaps many years from now. She could not force Jack to endure the agony of unknowing.

Lily had also had dreams of the Great Tree, in the very beginning, though she had never told Jack. She had learned, somehow, to close off her mind to those dreams, immersing herself in her love of Jack and her new life to the point where nothing could invade the space of her sleep. She knew now that she could teach Jack to do the same, should the need arise.

But she needed more than a shield. So now she opened herself again, one last time.

She saw the hall as Jack had seen it, faint light illuminating tall pillars, the black marble floor, the twisted throne. She wore black, her hair dark and hanging in ringlets, her nails sharp and painted. But the hall was empty, with not the slightest sensation in her mind of another presence.

Lily sighed. _I know you're here._

More silence. Lily was weary of games, but she would play this last one, if she must. She sat herself upon the throne.

Finally the walls seemed to hiss slightly, and a hundred tiny shadows gathered themselves on the floor before her, rising up to form a red, angular body that smiled confidently at her.

"My lady." He reached out to take her hand, and she withdrew it. His eyes betrayed only the slightest hint of surprise. "A pleasure to be in your presence again."

She stared at him, half expecting to feel some sense of confusion, for his presence to excite and entice her as it once had, to break down the barriers she had so carefully built. There was nothing. Only the ice within her.

He sensed it, she was sure. She wondered if he would simply take her, relying on violence and force if words and temptation failed him. But she suddenly realized that that was never what he had wanted. He lived for conflict, for the drawing out of repressed desires, for the body that was willing even as the words were not. And in her, he must now see, the wellspring had run dry.

He tried, of course. "Did your Jack tell you of his betrayal, my lady?" An image flickered in front of her eyes, one that did, at least for a moment, make her wince. Darkness smiled at this small triumph. "Did he tell you how he doubted you, and of what he gave to me willingly?"

She met his eyes, not flinching from the images that he forced her to see. "Yes."

Only a single word. But it was enough. It spoke of a range of emotion that Darkness could never truly understand. Understand, perhaps, but never experience.

It hit him like a blow. The image in front of her eyes abruptly dissolved. His eyes glowed red.

"Do you think this a victory, little kitten? Would you presume to toy with me? Do you think your resolve means anything to me, anything to one who has lived and died a thousand times and uses up playthings like you and your Jack in every lifetime?"

He reached out suddenly and gripped her shoulders, pulling her off the throne, his talons digging painfully into her flesh. "I could crush you in an instant…flay you to pieces if I so desired, condemn you never to return to the waking world…"

He could, she knew, and the momentary fear made her tremble as she forced herself not to turn away. But he would not, she realized. She was of no use to him dead. And her death would also deprive him of Jack, who would have no interest in games where the only prize was already lost. He could only threaten, and he knew it.

She smiled at him and summoned up enough emotion that he would taste it in the air. It was not rage, or resolve, or even the self-satisfaction that she now felt filling her.

It was pity.

He snarled and pushed her back toward the throne, backing away from her as though she had flung acid in his face. He raged at her in a half-human tongue, sending a cascade of images into her mind, filling the dark hall with fire, but she withstood it all, and when finally all the images faded and the hall was dark again she knew she that the game was over.

One of the pillars seemed to crack, and as she watched it slowly crumbled in front of her, followed by another, and another. The twisted throne splintered and fell in pieces to the floor.

He cried out as the dream began to fade. "I have lived a thousand lives…"

She smiled as he raged, a smile not without the sadness that comes from seeing the fall of gods.

_You have lived a thousand lives…and we have vanquished you with one._

The hall crumbled around her with a deafening crash, and she felt her body return to her bed, to the warmth of Jack and her child, to the peace of dreamless sleep and doubtless waking.


End file.
